26^th Nov 2008, 5pm: She had just got back from her regular checkup and doctor said "you are doing well but still be careful and take care because yours is a little difficult pregnancy". Yes it was indeed not just a difficult one but also much waited after three miscarriages. She was happy that finally she made it this far with her baby and soon she will be holding that bundle of joy in her arms.

Her brother said "let's celebrate this, let’s go to Taj for dinner". But she refused as she was being cautious about her health. “Ok then you take care, I'll be back soon" and he waved a smile.

10 pm: After dinner she was watching TV waiting for her brother to return. While switching channels she ended up on a news channel. Breaking news: “some gun shots heard at the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus.” There was no mention of a terror attack yet.

Minutes passed, it did not remain just a few gun shots. A war had been declared on her city. She felt a little chill run down her spine as she heard that there were gunshots in the Taj Hotel. That's when she realised her brother didn't have a mobile phone with him. Still hoping that it wasn’t too bad she kept watching TV till she saw the Taj Hotel up in flames. She felt numb and everything turned black. She couldn't see anything just kept hearing voices. Her baby got restless and was moving frantically, giving her an uneasy pain.

“I have to get up. I have to get to my brother”. The phone rings and it's her aunt crying. Her uncle was untraceable at Chhatrapati Shivaji terminus. He was on his way back home. She suddenly remembers her friend working for Taj and thought she might help her trace her brother. The phone doesn't ring, it is switched off. Is she too at the Taj? It felt like a black hole sucking her up as she was holding that tiny little soul banging inside her tummy. 

When you know you can't do anything other than feel miserably helpless, old memories come back haunting.

She grew up listening to horror stories from her mother about Kashmir and the very mention of Kashmir was scary. She was 17, a bubbly teenager full of life and she was in love. She was in love with a young Kashmiri Pandit guy who was full of energy and anger. He was angry because he was thrown out of his home. He wanted to visit Kashmir to see his birthplace once and people said it is not that bad anymore. Things are ok. After a lot of argument and reasoning he leaves for Srinagar. Every day he would call up and tell her how beautiful Kashmir is and that one day they both will go there together. He then says “tomorrow I'll be going to my village and I doubt if I can call you from there, but don't worry its safe I have enquired". Four days pass and no news. On the fifth day she saw his house crowded and was wondering what had happened. As she steps inside, He was lying on the floor wrapped in a sheet... They had killed him... That same numb feeling... When you can't cry but still want to scream, all you can feel is a lump in your throat making you breathless. Her life wasn't the same ever again. Her emotions were not the same ever again. She was too young to deal with so much pain and that pain had changed a part of her forever.

It was 27th Nov. The fate had changed. Her brother had made it home safely, so had her uncle and friend. God was kind to her or maybe it was the baby who couldn't bear the pain anymore and had asked God to spare the mum. 

That one night didn't go well with her health though, and she had a premature child. But he was a fighter and made it with his mother. To a healthy new life... A new beginning.

A few lines from late Harivansh Rai Bachchan that sum it-

रुके ना तू , थके ना तू

झुके ना तू, थमे ना तू

सदा चले थके ना तू

रुके ना तू, झुके ना तू

I am Sona Roy and this is my story.